Saturday, 6 June 2009

When "Quitting" Is A Good Thing

  • when you realise that what you are doing has started to hurt more than help
  • when the passion has died and doesn't seem to be coming back
  • when it feels more compulsive than enjoyable
  • when it doesn't interest you anymore
  • when it starts to lose meaning and stops making sense
  • when it's taking up more energy and time than it warrants
  • when it starts to feel out of your own hands
  • when you realise it's taking you further and further from where you want to be going
  • when it's causing sleepless nights and restless days
  • when the "get up and go" up and went
  • when you face it with dread rather than hope
  • when you reach limits that aren't possible to break through
  • when no matter how hard you try, you realise there isn't anything more you can do
  • when your health and happiness becomes compromised
  • when it becomes a 24/7 obsession rather than a pleasant past time
  • when you worry more about what people are thinking rather than staying true to yourself
  • when holding on is more painful than letting go

This isn't related to anything in particular right now, just some thoughts/ideas that have been bouncing around my head- more so lately as 'life' has gotten busier and my priorities are being assessed (and reassessed!). I'm trying to prise things apart and figure out what is 1) important, 2) enjoyable and 3) what is taking up my attention/focus right now that is okay to let go of. I hate the idea of "quitting"- I like to think I can juggle a zillion things at once and somehow keep everything balanced in a nice pie-chart format. That's not working out very well so I am working on accepting that sometimes there are things that I need to just let go. My dad calls this a "strategical retreat"- cutting your losses and backing out whilst you can. I still see it as 'quitting' and prefer to stick with it and hope that things work out.

What are your thoughts on giving up/quitting if it's something that isn't working for you anymore? Do you find it easy to do?

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day , to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight."
- E. Cummings


The good stuff...

I made the BEST breakfast this morning, featuring this bar that Aisha sent me:

I cooked up some oats and swirled them together with plain fromage frais and frozen blueberries and crumbled a chunk of the bar on top.

The bar was amazing! Such a great oatmeal topping, especially with the blueberries and yogurt. Why have I waited so long to try the coconut and almond combinations I've seen on so many blogs?! (note to self: copy more bloggers- these guys have GREAT taste!) I am rapidly falling in love with the hot oat/cold yogurt bowls!

I've had this sitting in my fridge for ages and have been looking forward to trying it since it's so popular amongst bloggers.

I REALLY wanted to like it. Ccinnamon is one of my all-time favourite spices and I love the short ingredients list (if something has a list that I can read straight through without needing to stop for a break, I LIKE it), but the flavour was strange...spicy, sweet and not what I was expecting. Not a bad thing since I can't get these bars easily and am glad I don't need to add it to my list of stuff to stock up. I do find it weird how I can tolerate such high levels of artificial sweeteners, but I find Larabars INCREDIBLY sweet. Anyone else find this? Or am I just weird? Heh... Does anyone else keep their Lara bars in the fridge?

Hope everyone's weekend is off to a great start!


K from ksgoodeats said...

Great list! Some things just aren't worth the time it takes to stress over them! It's taken me a long time to learn that but better late than never right?

That coconut bar looks GOOOOOOD! Have you had the coconut cream pie Lara? It's probably my favorite which is saying a lot because I'm a big fan of cinnamon (cinnamon roll wasn't one of my favs). Have a great Saturday!

Anonymous said...

I love that list!! Long story, but I did gymnastics for 14 years and hatedddd it for the last 2 years I did it. I wanted to quit soo badly but I ultimately decided to push through my last 2 years. Looking back, it was worth it though :/

And that coconut bar looks sooo good! And LARABARS = <3

nicoleishappy said...

hey about the quitting thing. I ran cross country/track in high school at my old school which was very competive and we got runner up in states then i move to west palm beach and joined a team that didnt care about running and wasnt even included in sates. so i lost the motivation to run since i wasnt getting the same competition and running against 200 people dwindled to 20 so i lost will power and it wasnt fun anymore so i quit and it was the best decision! What isnt fun for you anymore? just do whatever makes you happy its you r life and live it the way you want!!!

Tina said...

Hey Ellie,

Thanks for the comment! I used to have a friend called Ellie back in primary school and she always made me feel awesome. She was English and had a big house here, everytime I went to her house I used to forget all my worries while playing in her backyard and we'd indulge in Salt & Vinegar crisps. Reading your blog kinda gives me the same feeling (you are so on my blogroll...).
Your list is actually something I just copied and pasted to word: I'm printing it out. I have a MILLION different extracurricular activities and I ALWAYS accept tasks because I just can't say no. I'm gonna use your list to help me pick which things should be left out.

P.S. I love Scotland! I really want to go there once and it's so close! (I count anything in Europe as close :P)

Anonymous said...

'My get up and go got up and went' is my mum's favourite saying if she's not feeling too hot! I really liked that list, it's a good thing to remember.
I don't find quitting very easy, even if it's the healthy option. I agonised over leaving York rather than trying to fight on until I was forced to leave...but in the end I did the right thing for me. It made me feel really good about myself actually, like I'd won a real battle for myself rather than my usual self-defeating results. It's been all up from there really! So yeah, quitting can be a good thing :)

Leah @ Simply Fabulous said...

Love this post! I do find it hard to quit something when I am just not enjoying it but I usually go to the people I love for support first. Especially Steve. It makes me feel so much better to get another opinion on how I am feeling and he usually helps me sort it out!

foodcreate said...

Wow! I just quit my job boring job ! I have people skill,fluent in spanish,computer skill,costurmer service, ect I love your list!

Thanks for post such a wonderful list!!!

And you can visit me if I can visit you~~~


Lauryn said...

hi ellie! first of all, thanks, as always, for your kind words and warm wishes, i always appreciate your comments so much!

and second, i caught up on your posts and just needed to tell you how much i love them -- so thought provoking and insightful. this list was the same; i believe that when something isn't working, as soon as you realize it, it's time to actively make the choice to either change the situation or move on. it's hard, for sure, but when you know you know -- our gut instincts are so important!

hope you have a lovely rest of the weekend! xxo

Anonymous said...

It really depends on what for me. If it is something that I have been working hard for a long time, I'm definitely gonna be more stubborn about quitting.
larabars...honestly, I can't see what the hype is all abt! They all taste pretty nasty to me...hee, sorry, is this blasphemy?

Cacti Don't Cry said...

I hate hate hate hate hate quitting things. Which could possibly be construed as an admirable trait, except that it can also make me loath to try something to begin with in the fears that I might have to quit!!

I'm actually quite glad to hear that about the cinnamon roll Larabar... I love cinnamon, and I really wanted to try this bar but it scared me... and now I don't have to. ;p Weird thing about Larabars... I seem to NOT like the ones that I thought I WOULD like, and vice versa. I don't keep them in the fridge, but I've tried them that way a couple of times because you mentioned it... and the freezer one time too. ;)

<3 <3

Anonymous said...

per usual you have the most brilliant things to say. Seriously, I leave your posts always with something I hold onto. You are quite talented with your words and I'm SOO happy I'm fortunate enough to read them! And yes the concept of "quitting" is always hard but when something isn't working, it becomes time to move on and make the conscious effort to no longer take part.

Sorry you didn't like the cinnamon roll lara :( I think it's decently good but no Lara will replace my love for the Coconut Cream Pie...well not until the new ones come out maybe ;)

The Novice Berker said...

I loved this list so much. I could definitely relate so many of the bullet points to all kinds of different issues in my own life. And I cannot even tell you how brilliant that quote is. I LOVE it!

I'm not a huge fan of Larabars (or any date based bars) because they're usually way too sweet/moist for me. But I still keep trying different flavors, trying to find one I might like. No such luck so far. :P

Anonymous said...

Hi, hope you bought some nice things in zara! :P
love your blog by the way, and yes I am from Scotland :)
That coconut bar looks absolutely delish! I also always do things I don't want to just beacuse I can't say no, especially to please other people!


Susan said...

I lovelovelove coconut, I would be aaalll over that bar in a second :P Funny you found the Larabar too sweet. In all fairness though, they ARE made with dates, which I think are the sweetest things ever. I have a wicked sweet tooth, and a couple dates will be enough to satisfy it for a whole day.

I like that quitting list. I think there is nothing wrong with having to give something up. I took on way too many things in my last year of university and had to give up a lot of extra-curriculars as a result. I initially felt bad, but there's no harm in making life a little easier! :)

Anonymous said...

That's a really great list - something I'm gonna keep in the back of my mind. And it's suitable for so many different things in life. Now more than ever, I'm finding it more important to do what I truly love rather than what I feel like I should. All in balance and perspective, though, of course.

I have a Cinnamon Roll Lara in my pantry right now. I've had one before, and I remember liking it but I don't think it's one of my faves. It obviously lacks the buttery flavor of a real cinnamon roll.

Bam Bam said...

I adore larabars, they are a tad bit too sweet sometimes, the coconut one is the best, although to be honest, since I live over here and we have hardly any flavours. I'm glad the coconut bar was yummy, they are all from tesco and you can find them in asda too. My part of the pie that would change is my strict religious family, they so not know and will never meet my best friend, and they view me being vegetarian as a silly phase.

Telstaar said...

I haven't read any of the comments so no idea what people's thoughts are... but my instant thought was...
"This is when its good to CONSIDER quitting" the reason I think this is that sometimes we need to push through various barriers so something that has become monotonous can become enjoyable again, or something that is compulsive right now has a chance to have new life breathed into it... Sometimes we DO need to quit, sometimes we need to persevere. I mean take recovery, lets face it, at its hardest tends to be when we're not moving anywhere, but just stuck. Do we give up? Humm, I doubt anyone would say yes. But if we were working in a job that had become entirely routine and boring... we CAN give up, but we can always wait it out... either is a risk and its hard to make those choices. I think that the thoughts you wrote are great for starting the conversation on what should change, stay the same, be quit etc...

I think its good to start the thinking and move towards action of some kind, even if that action is a new resovle to "stay put".

I think its great to bring up the topic of when to quit because so often its far easier to just hold onto things!!!

You're one cool chick miss Ellie and I don't just say that for what you write here but also what you write to me :).


Love Telly xoox

Syd said...

If I lose the passion for something then I have found that it's best to give it up. Otherwise I may not do a good job, or guilt can creep in. Just my opinion.