Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Do It In Style!

Sometimes it takes me several hours to put a post together. I have a lot of days where nothing I write seems to make sense and I can't put my thoughts into any kind of coherent sentence. Finally, I click the 'publish' button only to come back and edit, time after time after time. I see flaws in my writing- spelling, grammar, punctuation. I worry about who is reading and what they will think of me or how they will interpret what I have written.

I worry about which 'niche' my blog falls into or where it fits into 'blogosphere'. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't HAVE to fit into any particular niche- if somebody asked me what my blog was about, I wouldn't have an answer. It's about me- sleeping, eating and everything that goes on inbetween. Thoughts, actions, ideas... There isn't a 'right' or 'wrong' way for a blog to take shape- that's what makes them so special and unique. I could spend my whole life trying desperately to fit in to any one particular crowd, or I could step into an empty space and claim it as my own.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how people see me or what they think or me. My mistakes are amplified in my head to be huge disasters, when really...people, for the most part, have their own stuff going on that is far more important than if somebody has used the same word twice in one sentence. Yet still, I panic. Egocentric? Neurotic? Perfectionist? Likely a combination of all three. I don't know what would happen if I stopped caring so much- what thoughts would fill that space. Whether I would go back to fretting over food and calories, or whether the time and energy would be channelled towards something productive. Whenever I drag my thoughts away from the 'obsession of the day', another one seems to creep in which is equally problematic.

I remember when I was much younger and waiting to be called up for my turn in a music competition. I was crying because I was so convinced that I was going to mess up and make a fool of myself. My music teacher kneeled down, looked me in the eye and said, "go out there and give it ALL you've got- go right ahead and make mistakes...but do it with confidence, do it like you mean it and nobody is likely to pick up on it". I did go out there, I did make mistakes, but I kept on playing. Rocking it out (well, as much 'rocking' as you can do playing traditional Scottish music on a harp) and I came home with a gold medal.

Moral of today's ramblings: go out into the world and give it all you've got. Mistakes aren't what make you different from everybody else- they are what make you exactly LIKE everyone else. Nobody is perfect, despite how they may appear on the surface. So screw-up, pick yourself up and start all over again. Just make sure you give it your best shot and if you fall flat on your face, at least pretend that you meant to do it that way. A little self-confidence goes a long way when it comes to "faking it till you make it".

Speaking of 'going out with a bang', my KETTLE EXPLODED last night. I turned it on to make a cup of tea, and there were sparks, weird noises and a huge 'BOOM', before all the power went out in my apartment. What did I do first? What ANY blogger would do- grabbed a camera...haha.

You know you are addicted to blogging when... ;)


Some food highlights from today, after I fixed the power last night. Just call me the 'DIY Diva'.

I woke up at 6am which is LATE for me.

Pumpkin banana oatmeal topped with peanut butter. Eaten cold.

Are there things you eat cold that most people would eat hot (or vice versa)? All of my food is eaten cold- I cook most of my things the day before and leave it in the fridge. I always LOVED eating cold leftovers when I was younger, so now I just skip straight over the 'first time' and go straight for the 'leftover' aspect!

Chocolate fix...

Glenny's brownie spread with white chocolate peanut butter. Yes, it was as good as it looked :) I never ate peanut butter until I started reading blogs (and never considered myself to be a fan of chocolate- but reading back some recent posts would indicate otherwise!) Ha...

What foods have you started eating more of since reading blogs? My main ones would be peanut butter, hummus and oatmeal. None of which I ever disliked or purposely avoided- I just never really thought of them as appealing/interesting. Now I can't imagine life without them!

Post-therapy (real psychotherapy, chocolate therapy is a given these days!) I made a curried chicken salad and spinach wrap. I love the dried apricots and raisins in this...though I love dried fruit in anything!

Still on the lookout for a vegetarian chicken salad recipe- anyone got one they recommend? (Elise?!.)

Thanks for the menu suggestions for tomorrow- I am really looking forward to it! Wish you could all come!

Have a fabulous hump-day everyone!


K from ksgoodeats said...

Oh my gosh! The explosion would have scared the crap out of me!! Glad you photographed it ;)

This may sound really weird but I LOVE cold soup - when I eat Panera, I like letting it cool completely.

Everyone makes mistakes!! I loved reading your intro because it's so true. Hope you have a great day today!

nicoleishappy said...

you are such a good writer! loved the post. I know. dont put pressure on yourself with blogs just have fun with it! have a great day

Steph Runs the City said...

thanks ellie! it was hard to give up the artificial sweeteners, but i did it slowly. switching to stevia actually really helped.

i also started eating more peanut butter since i started reading blogs- and other nut butter. i did eat it before, but now i think i'm addicted! :)

Cacti Don't Cry said...

Are you reading my mind?? I was JUST wondering this morning how I'd "categorize" my blog... and I came to the conclusion that "my blog" is category enough, really. There's no need to assign exact labels to everything in life.

That kettle explosion looks kind of scary!!

I used to eat EVERYTHING cold... but that was when I ate "normal" food that had time to become leftovers. If I'm grabbing something out of the freezer, I'm going to have to microwave it, and I'm not going to hang around for hours waiting for it to cool down...

Perfection, BTW, is overrated. ;)

<3 <3

itsawrapteacher said...

That is hilarious that you grabbed your camera! A true blogger, I would probably do the same plus my cell phone! Gah!
I've been eating alot more greens, oatmeal, and sweet potatoes after reading blogs. Starting blog reading has been the best thing I've ever done lately!

Anonymous said...

Things explode in my kitchen all the time! I am a dangerous cook :(

I love reading your blog. Whenever I read it, I discover something new. It is like an epiphany. I think, "Whoah, she is right" and I just sit there thinking about it for a minute. I have an anxiety disorder and I always get panic attacks before going somewhere or performing a test because I think I will do something wrong or embarrassing. I'm human! I shouldn't be ashamed of my flaws. I just need to try my best. Thanks for helping me realize that.

Aaaaand I like preparing things the night before too.
But since I started blogging, I began eating lots of nut butters, oats, and nuts.
And your dessert... I had something just like that last night. Chocolate vita top slathered in Peanut Butter. Mmmm....

Sorry for such a long comment, I'm known to be a chatterbox! have a great day <3

Syd said...

I think my blog is about me also. It's about what I think or do. Sometimes it's generic and at other times very personal. I'm glad that you post.
As far as eating, I got a good recipe for piri-piri from Gledwood. I've tried that. Smokin' hot. All your food looks great. Do you have a favorite recipe to post?

cglich0630 said...

I also didn't start eating peanut butter until I started reading blogs. Now I can't imagine my life without

Anonymous said...

twin!!! You're so cute for thinking of me when you had your curry chicken salad! I def do that same thing when it's eaten over here ;)
So before i get to the real meat of this post, let me just go on with the food. I love love love things cold...cold leftover spaghetti sauce, super duper ice cold milk (i literally put ice in my milk), pretty much any leftover cold, and a number of other things that people would probably think was weird. There is something so satisfying about it, dont you agree?
And yumm look at those brownie bites! Way to fix yourself up somethin' delicious! I def started eating alot more wraps and oatmeal since I started blogging. That and probably more bars. :)

The important stuff: I really feel the same way you do about being such a perfectionist and checking over everything and always worrying that I wont be good enough or that I will fall flat in my face with any attempt I make at something. I worry too much about doing things just right rather than doing my best, which is what really counts in the long run anyway. When you have such perfectionistic tendencies and you're incredibly hard on yourself, it's hard to remember that you don't have to be perfect and that there is no particular category, niche, or something we have to fall into. We are who we are and if we can't accept that then life will probably end up being miserable. I mean it's way easier said than done but I guess it's about moving in that direction. So yes, let's go out there and give it ALL we have because if we can't give that, I guess we really can't give anything.
Hope the rest of your day is as amazing as you are!

Thinspired said...

I love this post--especially the discussion on your "blogger identity." I wrestle with the same will people perceive me? Which blogger am I like? Well, I'm like ME! Haha. It is so easy to play the comparison game and forget that we're all really here to get to know and inspire and help each other.

Gina said...

pumpkin banana oatmeal, with peanut butter? Man that sounds good! And those brownies look great too. Have you ever heard of a buckeye? They are big here in ohio, basically they are big balls of peanut butter dunked in chocolate (like reese's pb cups, but better!) It think its the best combo.

So, tell me more about how the US subtracts calories from insoluble fiber. I am not aware of this, can you clear this up for me? As for fiber and calcium, I believe what you are referring to is the fact that fiber has been shown to decrease the amount of calcium you absorb. While this is true, I wouldn't worry about it too much unless you eat a TON of fiber or if you don't get enough calcium. In other words, if you stick within the recommended 35 grams of fiber and the recommended 1000 mg of calcium, it shouldn't be a problem! If you are ever worried, I'd take a calcium supplement like Viactiv (which also has vitamin D, very important).

janetha said...

woah, i JUST got done reading leah's post today on faking it til you make it! it must be the theme of today! how random. loved the second paragraph of this post. awesome insight! so true!

so rad that you grabbed you camera first. such a true blogger.. haha!

6 am is late for you? why oh why can i never become a morning person?? gimme some o that morning energy!

the only thing i have really started eating since i started blogging is oat bran and vitatops. ive been an oatmeal, hummus & PB addict fo life! maybe that is WHY i like the blogs so much?

oh, and that wrap made me wanna lick the monitor. just sayin.


EvilGenius said...

ahh I have the same issue with wondering where my blog 'fits'...but hey, it doesn't need to fit! it's yours, it's interesting, and clearly everyone loves to read it :)
as for foods blogging made me try, I got into Fage bigtime, have it every morning now! I've also baked using ideas from the blogworld and I tried carob for the first time today and loved it!
x Fi

Matt said...

Lol glad we got that squared away. I knew who you were, just forgot the blog!

Susan said...

Your thoughts remind me of one of my favourite Winston Churchill quotes.. "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." I always tell myself this whenever I screw up at work. I just think of the seasoned journalists I admire, and the mistakes that probably got them to where they are today :)

I love cold pizza and pasta. Cold pie is a-mazing :)

Anonymous said...

Ha!! I'm the total opposite, I eat practically everything hot if I can! Cold food's great too though.... ;)

Confidence is definitely important! If we emit confidence, then people will believe it!! Don't doubt yourself or the blog girl, it's great and you have lots of people who are inspired by it!

And I used to be the girl who ate cereal every day for breakfast, and now I eat OATMEAL everyday! Blogs have definitely influenced that!

Brandi said...

that explosion would have scared me to death!

i've started eat more nut butters, too :) they're so good!

Anonymous said...

My kettle did the SAME thing a few weeks ago!! I actually shreaked because I was so scared and had no clue what it was at first = )
See you soon!

Anonymous said...

Hey sweets~

I feel the same way of alwayss judging myself by others perceptions of me -- complete strangers. It shouldn't matter. And I think that idea of of being judged by others has also fueled our EDs.

I seriously thouh cannot think of a single food that I eat at a weird temperature. i always hated leftovers, and still living on my own only make enough food for one person. Honestly nothing is coming to mind, lol.

take care

Leah @ Simply Fabulous said...

Oh my gosh, your kettle! that is crazy!

Anne said...

Hi girl! Thanks for commenting on my blog. That's so cool that you're a harpist, too!

You're a great writer. I was stressing about my blog "category," and then I decided that it didn't HAVE to fit into just the food blogs, or the fitness blogs, or whatever. It's just about life. Yours looks great too, and I'm glad you came to that same decision!

And oh my gosh, that kettlepot explosion would have scared the bejeesus out of me, haha!

I love pumpkin banana oats! The brownie and pb combo looks delicious, too. Haha, I pretty much always avoided peanut butter too until I started reading blogs. Now I wonder how I lived without it!

Have a lovely day :)

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter to me what category your blog falls under, I love it. You have such a great way of expressing yourself and have such insight into things. When I'm writing I keep thinking what will people think of it and me, then I remind myself I want my blog to be fun and to enjoy writing it. It shouldn't matter what people may think of me.

Since reading blogs I've started eating sweet potato and avocado, which I never ate before.

Olga said...

I like to think of my blog as a celebration of food...because I rarely discriminate about what I eat hahha...But I love your blog because of the thoughtfulness and honesty that you put into it!

Sometimes, I like to eat meat cold...Like my mom will make chicken cutlets and I'll eat them the next day...cold. Not sure why! hahah

Abby said...

Wow. I seriously wrote this same post myself a couple weeks ago. Then last night I started to do it again--writing, deleting, trying to think of something "good enough" to blog about--until I finally decided to screw it and just put something down.

I write for me, and if anyone else cares to read it or comment, then that's even better. Things don't fit into "perfect" categories and even if my blog isn't "as good" as the others I read, so be it!

Great post. I'll be back :)

Anonymous said...

YOUR KETTLE! What?! Glad it didn't start a fire...

I love your blog just the way it is. I'm glad you started it so I got to get to know you!

Emily said...

I'm glad you discovered PB through the blog world; I can't live without it!

I definitely started eating more oatmeal when I entered the blogworld. So many creative ideas, how could I not?

Anonymous said...

oh that all looks fantastic!!! Thanks for your comment and vote on my blog! I replied under there with some other ways I eat Kale.

Great blog by the way! I'm going to add you to my blogroll!

Anonymous said...

Will you pay for my plane ticket so I can join you for the meal? lol, jk.
Aw, Ellie, your blog is one of my FAV to don't have to fit into a single catergory in the're YOU, and your writing, even if there is punctuation, spelling, grammatical mistakes (what? I couldn't find any until now), is beautiful and wise and insightful. It's unique in it's own way, which is why it's so attractive to me.
And great post on making mistakes...I'm such a perfectionist too, and HATE making mistakes, esp things that other ppl can clearly see. But you know what? The more "perfect" you are, the more ppl hate you. lol. So you might as well make mistakes and be more "human" and "likable" to others.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the info! I'll maybe make a stop at edinburgh :P
It was meant to be soya milk instead of snota...dam didn't notice it lol. Love the look of those chocolate brownies, num! Definitly more fats and nuts in general, and oatmeal have been added to my diet since blogging. People on here really inspire you to eat a much wider range of foods and fear foods!
Wow...the kettle... :S

Have a brilliant day

Anonymous said...

hi hun
i would have freaked out at the explosion!!

since rading the blog world ive started eating PB and lots of bars haha im addicted now! oh and sweet potatoes too!

this post is really great! we dont need to define ourselves into an catagory..a blog is simply there, its about the person and each peron is unique so! labels are so over rated anyways :)

have a great day girlie :)

Meredith (Pursuing Balance) said...

Thanks for visiting my blog!!!! :)
That's so scary that your kettle exploded! Yikes!