Wednesday, 22 April 2009

More Than My Emotions

I slept for a total of about 4 hours last night so much of today has been spent in a kind of daze. I'm tired, but not "sleepy" tired- I feel flat, hopeless, sad. Those are my signals that I need rest and it's hard sometimes to see them as signs of being tired rather than taking them at face-value and thinking that I AM hopeless/depressed. I'm just tired. I need to keep reminding myself of that today and make sure I get a decent night's sleep (first day of work tomorrow!) and hold onto the knowledge that I WILL feel much better once I am refreshed.

My dad always says, "don't make any major decisions when you are tired or hungry"- I struggle with this and tend to leap into whatever my emotions lead me to, but not tonight. I'm tired and not going to make any rash or impulsive decisions. Nothing is so urgent it needs dealt with tonight- I declare Wednesday evenings "mid-week weekend"!

I did clean my entire apartment at 5am so at least something productive comes out of insomnia :P

And of course, today has involved food...

Since my pumpkin breakfast cookie was a disaster, I tried something different:

Quaker instant raisin, date and walnut oatmeal (I usually like plain oats with my own mix-ins, but this flavour is awesome- I swear it tastes like cookie dough once it's cooled!) topped with mashed banana and Fage. Delicious!

A new (to me) lunch:

Tofu marinaded in BBQ sauce (pan-fried due to oven situation!) with a little cheddar cheese on Arnold's sandwich thin. This was my first time cooking tofu and I loved it! (Though everything tastes good with melted cheese!)

I definitely have a tendency to over-stuff my sandwiches! When I was in New York, I was amazed by how much filling they cram in between two slices of bread. In the UK, a turkey sandwich generally consists of bread, butter, 2 thin slices of turkey and a leaf of limp lettuce. I prefer my NY style sandwiches!


I'm not generally a fan of Luna bars- the texture throws me a bit because it's more light/crispy than my usual favourites (Clif, Pureprotein). This flavour tastes like a rice crispie treat though so matches well with the texture.

I just want to say how much strength and motivation I am taking from reading everyone's blogs. I don't always comment, but it's been so helpful to me to read about everyone's journeys with all their ups and downs, share in the peaks and troughs of recovery/life (I read a lot of non-ED blogs). The blogging community has become such a huge part of my life and although this sounds really cheesy, I just wanted to say thank-you!

Pssst...check out the awesome Holey Donut giveaway !


Sheena said...

Hey sweets~

Sorry i have not been commenting lately. Your food looks amazing though! I am so glad you are now able to post pictures for us!

I hope your first day of work goes great and that you are able to get a good night's rest. Take Care!

Cacti Don't Cry said...

Good luck at work tomorrow! :)

Syd said...

That tofu sandwich looks great.
Thanks for being part of blogger world.

Sarah said...

Yummm, great eats!! And I love that philosophy...I think I have made way too many faulty decisions when tired or hungry! Hope you sleep better tonight and that work goes well tomorrow! And thank YOU for YOUR are part of this community and there are countless times when I've take wisdom and comfort from your words :)

Meg said...

Oh man that sammie looks AMAZING! I hope you're able to get some rest! I certainly agree that the whole decision-making process gets interrupted when we're not well rested, eek! Have a good day at work :)

Love, Meg

Anonymous said...

hi hun

the eats look amazing, i love that luna bar!

im so glad your finding strengh through reading peoples blogs! youve come so far and im so proud of you :) keep moving forward love!

Shannon (The Daily Balance) said...

tofu sandwich looks delish!love reading your posts and am so glad that you are part of the blog world ;)

Love that luna bar -- the CLIF one is awesome, as well! ;)

itsawrapteacher said...

Great food especially the baked BBQ of my faves!

Anonymous said...

I always overstuff my wraps and end up eating them like a pizza instead :P tofu is good stuff, I've been eating quite a bit of Cauldron's smoked tofu lately, the fact that it's means it doesn't need marinating or seasoning so it's perfect for my laziness, lol.
Your dad is very wise! Good on you for declaring an evening off. I hope you feel better after a proper night's sleep.

Lexi said...

So glad you've recognized that you need rest. Your eats look wonderful! That quaker flavor sounds to die for. I'm so proud of you for all of the progress you've been making lately. Thank YOU for being a part of this lovely blogging community!
Love always,

Stef said...

I'm not a huge fan of Lunas either, but WCM is my latest fave!! SO GOOD! I'm sorry you feel pretty groggy and depressed today...I really hope that you get more sleep tonight! I'm wishing you luck on your first day of work, can't wait to hear about it! That oatmeal looks amazing, and the tofu sounds really good too!I much prefer to pan-fry my tofu than bake it, so maybe you're not missing out too much due to the oven situation!

Anonymous said...

Ha. The Quaker Tortillaz chips are new, I know they're not even out at my store yet!

Great eats. The oatmeal looks dlish! :)

Thinspired said...

I am a wreck when I don't get any sleep. It makes simple obstacles seem like THE END of the world. I'm glad you were able to catch up a bit.
Definitely look into the graze box...I think you would really like it! It's all really fresh tasting and so convenient.