I don't know if this is partly due to me FINALLY taking my therapist's advice and cutting down the amount of diet pills I am taking by half. When I saw her Friday and literally begged for ANYTHING I could do that might change things, this was the one thing that I have managed. And despite my fears that I would turn into a hungry and sleepy zombie, the opposite has come true. I almost feel like I am floating without the jolt of chemicals at 6am. Everything feels less urgent, less frantic, less chaotic. The need to control and organise and be productive 24/7 has subsided and I am happy to just be. To just exist and make the most of each moment, recognising that each moment is a chance to lay the foundations for the next moment, but there is no pressure to think beyond the hours ahead of me.
One step at a time.
I hope this doesn't sound too wacky/crazy. This has definitely been a roller-coaster few weeks and despite the ongoing difficulties I am having with depression, the ride seems to be slowing down. Finally.
Still internet issues going on, but as of next Friday, will have a new service provider so will have free reign to take photos, comment, etc. I can't WAIT! I am going to try to get to the library this week because I do have some photos for you guys :)