Friday, 15 May 2009

After A While

A quiet, pleasant day. I am running on 3 hours sleep- a habit I fall into when I am busy. I'm going to need to make a big effort to make sure I get enough sleep now that I am working. Work was great anyway and I'm feeling pretty good about 1) doing all my hours as agreed this week, 2) being more on top of things/less overwhelmed at work and 3) having something productive (LIFE, baby!) to do with my time.

I spent a while last night looking at my blog entries from this time last year when I was in new York, and the months that followed. I am thankful that I am where I am today, and looking back can see how far I have come this year. I am grateful for the progress, even if at times it has felt frustratingly slow. It's hard to see or feel on a day-to-day basis, but looking back to a year ago, I can see how much I have changed.

It's been, overall, a pretty good week.

AFTER A WHILE
by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
and company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers-
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn...
with every goodbye you learn.

**********

Breakfast:

Fage, pumpkin and chocolate raisin mini oatibix drizzled with peanut butter. I am LOVING peanut butter with cold cereal- might need to make a permanent switch from oats for the summer months!

Lunch:

Quorn "ham", laughing cow cheese, spinach and tomato chutney on wholewheat bun.

Snack:

Almost expired Clif bar- if I get sick, I'm going to blame all you guys who gave assurance that you ignore "use by" dates and have lived to tell the tale :P

What's everyone got planned for the weekend?

9 comments:

ohsoravenous said...

So glad you feel like you've made progress (: When I read my past blog entries from even a couple of months ago, I can see just how far I've come, and it makes me happy!

Have a good weekend love!

itsawrapteacher said...

What a beautiful poem and I'm loving your breakfast. This weekend my college roommate will be visiting so there is sure to be alot of reminiscing and laughs ahead!

Cacti Don't Cry said...

Sleep = very important to general functioning. :p

It's always interesting to look back and see where you were at a given point in the past. (Also can be depressing!!) I'm glad that you can appreciate that you've come a long way.

ElleMigliore said...

My lovely Ellie,
You sound so much more positive than you have in a while and I'm so happy that you are feeling the progress of your recovery!! I also love that poem and immediately fowarded it on to my mom and friends!

Have a great weekend and GET SOME SLEEP!!!!!!

Maya said...

hey ellen! i love your blog, just found it! so glad you feel like you have made progress, that is a great feeling i feel the same!
yes blogger meet up in october for sure! hampton chutney!? :) wow that is so cool that you worked at cafe lalo!

lots of love
maya <3

Rosalie Y said...

Ellenn!!! (it still feels kinda weird calling you Ellie ^^) I thought I'd stop stalking a bit and comment on your latest entry after our facebook conversation.

It's definitely hard to see change day-to-day, but I'm glad you're able to see that you *HAVE* come a long way when you look year-to-year. I think people with EDs look for all-or-nothing in terms of recovery (I def do)... but I'm glad you're not letting any setbacks discourage you :]

You have the YUMMIEST looking breakfasts ever. I like making breakfast because it doesn't feel like cooking. I *did* cook today and took a pic and felt like such a bloogger, lol. Look!

http://twitpic.com/57zpy

Its ginger seared wild salmon with grilled pineapple, and a spinach salad with balsamic vinaigrette and almonds and rainbow carrots and dill :D

This weekend.... I'm actually going on vaca with my mom to san diego tomorrow. SOO EXCITED.

Love you lots lots lots :)

Rosalie

Rose 'n' Coffee said...

Hi, I found the Lean Cuisine in a frozen food stall in a market near where I live. They sell different kinds of frozen meals.

curlytop said...

Ellie,

Hey Darlin! Sorry I've been MIA the last few days. Finals are looming...

I'm learning the hard way that sleep=energy. Lesson learned? Get your rest. :D

That is totally my fav. flavor of cliff bar.

Have a wonderful weekend!

With Love,

Emily

Lexi said...

Oh my god your breakfast looks so good! Have a lovely weekend, I plan on relaxing and doing laundry (fun, huh?), and seeing some friends!
Love you,
Lexi