Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Pull Out An Umbrella? Or, Dance In The Rain?

My mood crashed last night as it does most evenings. I usually wake up feeling more refreshed and energized, but I woke up feeling like there was a cloud hanging over my head. I wanted to force it away, to 'pull myself together' and get on with what I had planned for the day but I couldn't shake the feeling of sadness that seems to have taken over my brain during the night. Nothing is really 'wrong'- I just feel down. It's hard when there is no trigger for an emotion- you can' rationalise it or think it through. It's just THERE, permeating every breath, every muscle, every thought, every moment.

My normal way to handle this would be to exercise- walk until I was too tired to think or feel anymore. Bury my head in notepads making meal plans and force my brain to focus on micro nutrients rather than face up to how bad I felt.

I didn't do either today. I went for a walk, taking my cloud with me. We explored a new area of town and bought a jar of peanut butter (finally found PB and Co again!). We went to TK Max to look for a spring jacket. We had a long shower and cleaned the apartment. Me and the cloud. It's still there. I still feel sad. But I'm just accepting that for now, this cloud is present. I don't have to run away from it or block it out- I can just see it for what it is, and wait for it to move on.

***********

Some food?

I couldn't resist buying these when I saw them the other day in the store.


Sausage rolls (do you guys call them something else?) always remind me of picnics and birthday parties when I was really little. I didn't know if I'd still like them, but they were delicious and a nice trip down memory lane.


With roasted asparagus and steamed green beans. Still no luck hunting down Amy's meals, but Quorn products are quickly becoming a staple in my diet.

Breakfast was cheesecake mashed/melted banana mixed with bran flakes and Fage cherry twin pot, mixed together and soaked overnight. I KNOW it looks gross, but trust me- it's AMAZING!


Snack:


Served warm... I like the cinnamon roll flavour much better, but there is something awesome about the texture of these bars. It's kind of like a half-baked cookie and so fun to eat!

Happy Hump Day everyone! (Nobody in the UK says 'hump day' and my mom always thinks I am being rude, haha...)

12 comments:

Cacti Don't Cry said...

I hate those "no-reason" blues... hopefully you and your cloud break up soon!!

<3 <3

curlytop said...

Ellie,

Evening blues are the worst! I try to imagine waking up the next morning perfectly happy and sometimes that cheers me up.

Good luck kicking the diet coke habit! It's so, So, SO hard. I used to drink 3-4 a DAY! Now I'm down to 1 every other. Baby steps right?

Have a great Humpday!

With Love,

Emily

rediscoveringlauren said...

hi sweetheart,
aw, im sorry you were feeling down. I have those days too...when theres nothing wrong that you can pinpoint, but you just feel stuck in a low mood.i think we all have days like that, we just have to accept that not everyday is one filled with joy. thers a huge difference between acknolwedging the feeling and trying to block it out, so its great you didnt block out the feelings by over excerising.

ooo whered you find lunas?? im so curious :) and pb n co? im so jealous lol ,all i can find is the meredian pb,

hope your mood picks up soon hun,
xxxx

Rose 'n' Coffee said...

Oooo sausage rolls. I used to love them at birthday parties and picnics. It's funny as I don't like sausages on their own, yet I love sausage rolls.
I'm starting to get used to the "hump day" saying. I'd never heard it said before I read blogs.

ohsoravenous said...

Remember - this too shall pass (:

Thinspired said...

I've seen Amy's at H&B and even some Sainsburys. Where did you find the Pure Protein bars?

Sheena said...

Hey sweets~

Sorry you were feeling down today but I think it's good that you just fessed up and experienced teh emotion. Oh and those breakfast protein bars sound good. i have seen them at the store but didn't buy them since i had not heard anyone talk about them.

Take Care!

Lauryn said...

hi love,

sorry you had one of THOSE days, hate when that happens! i'm hoping tomorrow will be much better -- i'm knowing it will!

i just saw those hot 'n' healthy squares today, now you're making me regret not trying one! i'll have to purchase them and let you know what i think!

happy humpday to you too!

Lexi said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you have had the blues over the past couple of days. I'm proud of you for not using your eating disorder behaviors as coping strategies. I think acceptance is a really big accomplishment.
I hope you feel better tomorrow!
Love,
Lexi

burpandslurp said...

actually, I live in the U,S and still have yet to figure out what "hump day" means! does it mean the middle of the week?
girl, I say DANCE IN THE RAIN! YOU are the one to decide the mood of the day!

Jaime said...

hey girl! sorry you woke up in kind of a funk-- but im glad you were able to get your day goin!

i've always wanted to try those squares-- thanks for the review :)

i'm so confused-- do you live in nyc? are u from england?! i'd love to know more!! thanks so much! oxox

dietlexy said...

mmm I have not come across quoarn sausage rolls yet! jealous! Im a fan of the quorn hot pot! ever tried it? xx
diet lexy