I think that's partly where the 'silence' is coming from. Hearing someone else's voice over and above the whispers/screams from anorexia, telling me that I'm doing exactly what I NEED to do right now has left the disordered part of my brain without much leg-room to start stomping on my thoughts.
Onto all that is good and glorious :)
Today is the first day that it's started to feel summery here in Scotland. The sun is shining and it's *gasp* NOT raining! Woooo! I also saw the first bee of the year. Anyone else petrified of bees/wasps? I took for granted the fact that there weren't any in NYC (city smog perhaps?) but there are lots on Edinburgh- and if the size of today's one is anything to go by, it could be an anxiety provoking summer! At least I live alone and nobody can make me open my windows!
There is a pretty large (by Edinburgh standards!) mall by the water that I decided to venture too. It's actually really near where I live and has amazing views of the water. I just wandered around for an hour before the guilt kicked in (*grumblegrumble* it'sawednesdayshouldbeworking/applyingforjobs *grumblegrumble*), but I had a really nice time.
Aaaaaaand...LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
I almost squealed when I saw this! I am pretty sure it's the same as the 'White Chocolate Wonder'- no idea why it has a different name here. Can't wait to try it!
I also tried a new breakfast this morning after receiving this in the mail:
Sounded good and I never turn down free samples!
With pumpkin and fage (the post-mix picture was ugly so you don't have to see that :P ). Looked like hamster food and tasted like sawdust. I'll stick to my beloved branberry muesli!
Today was also another 'food challenge' day that Sam and I picked. On the menu this week: mayonnaise.
I always thought I hated mayonnaise until I went to Germany when I was about 15. Have any of you guys had the pleasure of trying German chips (french fries) with mayonnaise? OMG. Their mayonnaise is NOTHING like Hellman's. It was amazing! Since then, I've grown to like mayonnaise in certain foods. My favourite sandwich filling is chicken salad and I ate this a LOT when I lived in the US (evolved into one made with tofu which I could quite happily live off for the rest of my life). Here in the UK, if you order a "chicken salad sandwich", you get chicken and salad on bread. Makes sense, no? I got quite a shock my first trip to the US when I ordered a chicken salad sandwich and got the chicken/celery/mayo combination I grew to love! Haha.
I really wanted a chicken salad sandwich (US style!) today, but this is the closest we get- chicken and sweetcorn! Sweetcorn and mayonnaise are pretty standard add-ins to tuna or chicken so this was the best I could come up with to fulfill my chicken salad craving (short of *gasp* buying some chicken, mayo...I don't know what else you guys put in it to make it so good!)
This was my first time having chicken in a really long time- I'm not vegetarian, but I generally don't eat much. I don't like to label myself as anything in particular, but I definitely prefer vegetarian options (just wish they weren't all soy/cheese/egg based!). I've had this sandwich before, but not for ages- it was a nice change from my usual lunch. I love sandwiches and think I am going to start making them a regular feature in my diet again- what are your favourite sandwich fillings?
"I relax in the knowledge that I am exactly in the right
place at the right time doing the right thing"