Sunday, 1 March 2009

Sneaky, Sneaky...

I have a kind of confession to make. Actually, it's not even a confession as I didn't really realise until today what was going on. Basically, as most of you know, I made an agreement with my therapist on Tuesday to be more intuitive when it comes to choosing my afternoon snack and listen more to what I WANT to eat, rather than just what feels safe/fits into my "plan". I thought I was doing pretty well- and I HAVE been, but here's the thing: since I was IP a few years ago, I have been keeping a food log. It started innocently enough- I genuinely wanted to leave treatment knowing what to eat/what fears I had conquered and use to keep me on track. That kind of fell by the way-side, but the food log has remained. Anyway, I generally write down my day's food just before I eat my snack (can we say, rigid routine? *bangs head* ) and so have an idea of my day's intake and then pick according to what "fits" in calorie-wise to the rest of the day's meals. It IS progress on one hand- I have NOT been planning obsessively, and am basing my choice at least PARTLY on what I want (as well as what meets ED requirements) but I really need to kick things up a notch this week.

Anybody got ideas? I was thinking maybe do my food log at the END of each day. I don't know if I am quite ready to stop that altogether right now, but delaying it might solve this particular problem?

Anyway, onto food...

Any guesses what this is?..


Yup- my breakfast non-cookie again. It's really unlike me to go so many days in a row without regular oatmeal, but am trying to use things up before I move (tomorrow!) I swear it tastes better than it looks!


Snack- all these realisations with the food log, etc came when I was writing it, and it took me a moment to just say, "shut up- let ME choose what I WANT" and what did I want? OATMEAL. I've missed you baby! I usually eat plain oats and add my own mix-ins, but keep the flavoured ones around for snacks. Found a chocolate chip pack when I was packing and decided that topping it with Fage was what I really wanted!


And I have to show you a photo of my dinner since tomato sauce is quite literally the only thing I can cook! Served with spinach and ricotta tortellini. A recent discovery and I LOVE it. So quick and easy, not to mention delicious!


And a few of another placemate I made in treatment a few years ago...




8 comments:

Danielle said...

That tortellini looks delicious!
I love the placemats you make they are are so super cute!

Pammy said...

I love the placemat!!

I had the same problem with food logging. I think what you mentioned- doing it at the end of the day- is a good idea. I have to keep food logs for my nutritionist now so I have to fill them out but before it helped if I waited until the end of the day. Honestly, sometimes the end of the day came and I was too tired or I didn't want to think about what I ate so I just wouldn't keep track for that day. I know how obsessive keeping a food log can get and its frustrating. Good luck on breaking that cycle. You can do it!

Sam said...

Ellie, seriously, you like read my thoughts...and sometimes food...
Love the tortellini!!!!

I don't write down what I eat, but I definitely keep a mental track of what I eat...and incorporate my snacks into that...I know bad, bad habit. So I can't give personal advice on solving your problem, but doing your food long at the end of the day sounds like a good idea.
"It is safe for me to let go of old habits."
Good luck with moving! Let us know how it goes.
Thanks for the comments and advice!!!

Sarah said...

Love your placemats, and the pasta looks super tasty!!

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, it was so helpful to read them after a terrible week! You are such a strong, insightful person and I am so confident in your ability to fight and beat this! No more sneaky snacks-you win! :) Have a wonderful Sunday evening!

Helen's Journey said...

I love the tortellini and great pictures BTW.

Jaime said...

hey girl :) love the collage you made

i can totally relate to the food log-- i still keep one-- i keep calories in mind but dont measure every single calorie-- this way i know i'm getting enough and if i need to add more :) i usually total up the range before dinner time so iknow where i'm at ... but again i dont go crazy number for number-- a huge step from where i used to be. hope thsi helps. xox

Elle said...

I love your placemat! I started cutting out some collage materials from magazines over the weekend and wasn't really sure what I was going to do with them, but that's such a great idea.

I think keeping the food journaling to the end of the day is a great idea. Or, have your snack before you journal if it would be easier for you to eat intuitively that way. I use an online site to keep track of my daily foods - I can send you the link if you're interested.

Elle

Thinspired said...

You definitely need to trust your choices, because all of your food in this post looks fabulous ;)