I should know by now that when I'm tired, my thoughts get more and more obsessional/irrational and I should call it a night and go to bed...
Tonight I was trying to unwind and watch "Friends". I suddenly realised that I used a different measuring cup than usual for tomorrow's breakfast. Let me explain- I have a few different breakfasts that I rotate. Usually some kind of oatmeal combination, but depending on mix-ins, different amounts of stuff are added (ED rule: breakfast has to be exactly XXX calories, no more and no less). So tomorrow's breakfast is breaking that rule. I sat there getting more and more anxious, more and more distracted- should I throw away what I made and make another batch? Should I compensate later in the day? If so when? Lunch? Snack? Or exercise more? How much more?
Then I realised what was happening.
*in walks CBT*
I realised that I can't remember which cup I have been using all week (*ED starts screaming*)- hey, they all look similar. I may well have been having extra for 2 days, 5 days, a week...who knows? I started calculating to figure out exactly the amount I need to cut out of tomorrow's planned meals so my numbers fit together like a nice little pretty jigsaw.
Precisely 13.6 calories.
Eh? ALL that stress over the amount of calories I probably burn lifting the slightly heavier measuring cup ( :P ) ?..
I feel kind of dumb now. It hasn't affected my weight at all. Hell, I need any extra calcium and protein I can get right now. In the grand scheme of my day's intake, it's NOTHING. I don't measure/weigh out stuff like vegetables or fruit exactly- it could be over/under one day and I don't know/don't care/don't even notice (ED rule: this particular item 'counts').
Ha. Not anymore. I'm going to stick with the 1/2 cup measuring cup because my breakfasts right now taste great, make me feel great, and I REFUSE, at the age of 26, to be sitting at home stressing over something so minuscule.
Move over ED. You're getting in the way of the life I have waiting for me.
eleven months old.
1 month ago