It's been a few hours since I posted- feels longer, but yeah...about 3hours.
Thank you SO much for your comments. I was wary about posting- I'm trying to keep this post really focused on recovery and doing well which is helping ME to find the positives/hope amidst the muddle and thought that tonight's posting was... I don't know. Something I didn't want to really put into words.
BUT, 3 hours later and I am feeling better. Not great, but definitely more on top of things.
I sat for a while, read some blogs (love you guys!), googled some random quotes from my favourite TV show (any Scrubs fans out there?) and now, 3 hours later, am back to myself.
It's so strange thinking back now- had I acted on the feelings/urges I was so tempted to do, right now? I'd be feeling horrible. I'd feel physically unwell, upset that I gave in and just annoyed that I didn't push harder to fight the urges. In the moment, all I wanted was some "quick fix" to make things better right then and there.
I'm SO glad I waited. Literally one moment at a time, and it DID pass. It wasn't fun by any means, but the consequences of acting on impulse far outweigh the consequences of NOT acting.
Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing you can do.
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their day!